The Hardest Part of My Day: A JT Love Story

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This is a story about a girl.

This girl has first world problems.

And this girl just decided she doesn’t want to write this story in third person.

So, anyway. I was listening to some JT today, pumping through my busy work, generally and metaphorically wading through the songs’ pretty alright verses and choruses to get to some of the sick, sick breakdowns.

That’s what blows my mind about Justin Timberlake. He’s talented. His songs are catchy. But his breakdowns. Mercy. I always anticipate the end of every song. I only ever listen to Mirrors to get to the breakdown because, as much as I hate Mirrors, the breakdown makes me want to weep.

I hadn’t listened much to his FutureSex/LoveSound album, so I was giving that a try today. Two things happened: 1) I have a new favorite JT song. And 2) I’m going to slap whoever is responsible for this album.

The song? Well technically, it’s called “Medley: Sexy Ladies/Let Me Talk to You (Prelude),” but that’s just stupid.

So instead, we’ll call it “Cowbell Sexy.”

Cowbell Sexy takes up the last bit of the song, which would make it appear to be the breakdown. But, it’s not. It’s actually a type of prelude/remix of the more popular song “My Love.” Which is the next song. On its own track.

Cowbell Sexy has nothing to do with the first part of the song. In fact, the first part of the song is actually not very good. It’s boring. Not catchy at all. One of my least favorite JT songs. It drawls on for about 3:45 minutes, and then?

A hard stop.

Not a choreographed transition.

A literal moment of silence. Awkward, painful, pungent.

And then it goes into Cowbell Sexy. Like nothing ever happened, and no idiot ever made that horrible, horrible decision to combine those two unrelated songs on one track.

So, what does this mean for my day?

I have to listen to 3:45 minutes of shit to get to my 1:00 favorite song.

I’m so sorry JT. I love you. But you need to talk to your manager or something and get this album you released eight years ago fixed, or I’m going to talk to him for you.

You ruined my day.

I love you.

 

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